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Michelle's Marathon Training Update: Dealing with Self-Doubt

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Have you ever gotten to a certain point in your quest to achieve a goal when start to doubt yourself? Well, that's where I am right now. I'm starting to wonder about the safety of running this marathon, which is just five weeks away. I've been training as much as possible, but I still feel that I'm struggling a bit to get myself back to where I was in June—before I started feeling sick. 

This last week, I've been able to do a few small runs (about four miles each); they felt OK, but I was definitely happy when they were over. The problem is that at this point, four miles should be a vacation from the grueling runs that I should be doing. I'm going to try a 15-mile run this week—it should really help me make my final decision. It's kind of embarrassing, and I feel as though I am quitting, but in a sense, I don't know how smart it is to push through a 26.2-mile run just to prove to myself that I can do it. I know that I can get through the race, but I'm not sure of the damage that I will be doing to myself.

I made this goal for myself months ago as I was trying to get back into shape after having my son Reid (now 8 1/2 months). Along the way, I've set a lot of mini goals to help me get through the weeks, days or even hours. I have accomplished a lot and so if I have to push the end goal of running a marathon out a bit, then I realize I didn't fail because I've already accomplished so much, and I will get to the marathon someday. 

Listen to me—I sound like I've already thrown in the towel. Well not yet! The 15-mile run will help me determine what my final decision will be, and until then I'll be hanging out on the Best Life community boards (one of the biggest draws of belonging to the Best Life program) for motivation! The support and encouragement I've received there has been a huge part of my success.

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