Posted by Bob Greene on Fri, Oct 09, 2009
You want to lose weight. You want to be in shape. You want to live healthier. But for some reason, you just can't make it happen. Whenever people ask me for advice on how to overcome this issue, I often respond with a question: Why haven't you been successful at losing the weight? Many respond with a quick and easy answer, what I call a surface answer. They'll say something like, I don't have time or I feel guilty doing things for myself instead of my family. But often, it's something much deeper. Maybe you're unhappy in your career or you're feeling unfulfilled in a relationship, so you turn to food to cope. It could be that financial stress causes you to misuse food. It may also be an issue of self-worth. If you don't value yourself and feel that your health is worth the effort, then you won't hit the gym or go for that scheduled run.
To uncover what's standing between you and your best life, ask yourself five very important questions. Instead of simply answering them on the fly, sit down and ponder each question. Jot down your answer so you have a written reminder—you can refer to it whenever you need a motivation boost.
1. What are you really hungry for?
Many people turn to food when they're lonely, depressed, angry or bored. Try to figure out what causes you to overeat—a food and mood journal can help you spot any patterns. For example, maybe you realize that you cope with loneliness by overeating. You may know that you can't find companionship at the bottom of a bag of chips, but until you identify this as your particular problem, you won't be able to break the pattern.
2. Why are you overweight?
Again, surface answers like, 'I don't like the taste of vegetables' or 'I can't stand exercise' won't cut it. These are merely obstacles—not the real reason that you're struggling to slim down. Weight is usually a symptom of a larger, deeper problem. Many people use their weight as a security blanket, for instance. They worry that if they lose a lot of weight, people will be able to see them for who they really are. For others, it's fear that's holding them back—whether it's a fear of making a change or even finding success. You may have to do some digging to figure out the answer to this question.
3. Why have you been unable to maintain weight loss in the past?
Looking at your weight-loss history can be very valuable—you can pinpoint what works (and then incorporate these things into your current plan) and what doesn't (you'll know what to avoid as well as where your weaknesses may be).
4. What in your life is not working?
When life is out of balance, it's easy to stray from your healthy-eating or regular workout routine. Figure out the areas in your life that need attention and try to do something everyday to improve them.
5. Why do you want to lose weight?
The easy answer to this question is: To fit into a certain size dress or to look better. But to really stick to a program long-term, you'll need a deeper, more motivating reason. For instance, maybe you want to be around to see your grandchildren, or perhaps you're a new mom who needs the energy to keep up with her growing family. If you find a reason that has value and that improves your life, you're more likely to stay the course when you’re tempted to go off track.
For more motivation and weight-loss tips, check out TheBestLife.com.
Posted by Michelle Hering on Tue, Sep 15, 2009
Over the last few weeks, we've done a lot of traveling and we still have one more vacation to go. To be honest, I've been a bit on edge each time we've gone away, not because I was worried about eating or my exercise, as I've proved to myself that I can make smart choices and stay on track, but because I've gained a bit of weight since I last saw some of my family and friends.
Looking back at photos from five years ago, I've actually realized that I probably wasn't at a healthy weight back then. And being involved with The Best Life program, I also learned that I hadn't been eating enough calories for my activity level. So the weight gain was actually a good thing. But I have some friends and family members who are so focused on how I look and what I'm doing (gaining weight, losing weight, eating and exercising) that we lose precious time just being friends and hanging out together.
Plus, it creates a stressful environment; the pressure of trying to live up to their high or unrealistic expectations is neither fun nor relaxing. And I also feel like they're challenging my expertise. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy sharing ideas about diet and exercise, but often the conversations take on a feel of "teaching," as though I have failed in some way. Luckily, I'm feeling better now—the aches and pains I've been dealing with all summer have subsided and I'm excited about training for this marathon (six weeks away!)—so I'll be better prepared to deal with this. Still, I'm not anxious to place myself in a stressful situation that might lead to another setback.
Fortunately, up until now, things have gone pretty well. My family and friends haven't focused much on my weight or training goals, and I've been able to enjoy our time away. Now, I'm focusing on our last trip to California. In fact, I have two goals: To take each situation as it comes and not worry about what might happen while we're gone, and to go on at least one 10-mile run. (I have to try a big run this week to see how I feel; this will help me determine if the marathon goal is still within reach. Mentally I'm committed, but I need to make sure I don't put myself in physical danger.)
Some of my family members who don't like to exercise and who do not have the best eating habits may subliminally try to sabotage my plans, but I just finished reading an article on TheBestLife.com called "Are You Sleeping with the Diet Enemy?" which has helped me understand what my family might be feeling—fear of losing the "me" they know and love, perhaps a little envy. I'm going to take a tip from the article, and instead of allowing the conversation to turn to what I look like, what I'm eating or how I'm exercising, I'll bring up another topic to move the spotlight away from me.