Show Yourself Some Love

Feeling good is often tied to looking good in our appearance-obsessed society. Many people think they can't be happy or don't deserve good things in life until they reach a certain weight or achieve a certain shape. This can sometimes be a good thing—the drive to look your best can motivate you to eat healthfully and/or work out regularly. But more often than not, it has a negative effect. The desire to achieve lofty (and often unrealistic) cultural body ideals can lead you to compare your body to others and feel bad about yourself. The result: You resort to unhealthy methods to lose weight, which typically backfire, causing you to feel like you've failed at another attempt when in fact, it was the unrealistic diet that was the real failure. Or, you become frustrated that your weight loss isn't going fast enough and therefore may not trust that the healthy changes you're making are really worth it, leading to unhealthy behaviors like bingeing (eating too much food too fast.) Both of these cycles can lead to gaining more weight than you started with, and ultimately, giving up trying to shed pounds altogether

If you've struggled with body image in the past (whether you've had the occasional 'fat' or 'off' day, or you rarely feel good about yourself), there's a way to turn things around and see yourself in a positive light. The four tips below are a great place to start—they can help transform you from self-critic to cheerleader. You'll find that when you;re in your own corner, it's a whole lot easier to talk yourself into making the healthy choices that will help you slim down. 

1. Look at yourself fondly. Focus on the qualities that make you shine as a person, such as being a good friend or parent, your sense of humor, your ability to solve any problem, etc. Remind yourself that who you are goes way deeper than what you look like. And surround yourself with a network of positive, supportive friends. They can encourage you when you feel down, and remind you of all your positive attributes.  

2. Practice positive self-talk. Just like harsh words can harm a relationship with a friend, a harsh "internal tongue" can do damage to your self-esteem and self-worth. Alternatively, if you're supportive and encouraging of yourself, just as you would be of a friend, you can improve your self-worth and make it more likely that you'll reach your goals. Feeling good about yourself means that you believe that you are worth the effort you’re putting in to make the changes, and that is the best motivation. When you catch yourself saying or thinking anything negative about yourself, stop. For example, if you make a mistake, instead of saying to yourself "I'm so stupid," say "I'm smart, I just made a mistake." To promote more positive self-talk in a tough situation, try thinking about a recent accomplishment (like completing a tough work project, getting a promotion, or helping a friend in trouble, etc.) to accentuate the positive. It might be tough at first to halt the negative thoughts, but the more you practice, the easier it gets.

3. Seek out positive media. Buy magazines that focus on a hobby or travel instead of a fashion or gossip magazine, watch a TV show on the Discovery Channel or a home improvement network instead of the prime time dramas that feature uber-skinny starlets, or pick up a fun book! All of these can prevent you from comparing yourself to the unhealthy images that create unrealistic expectations, and the resulting frustration when we don’t meet them.

4. Set goals that focus on things other than appearance, such as hiking a mountain, traveling to a foreign country, taking an art class, doing home improvements. There are lots of things out there that you can accomplish that don't have anything to do with appearance, and all of them can make you feel good about yourself.

Keeping Yourself on Track

Having someone to be accountable to—a workout partner, a trainer, a dietitian or message board buddy—is a great way to stay on track with your get-healthy goals. But you can just as easily keep tabs on yourself with these four tips.

1. Keep a food journal. It's easy to suffer "food amnesia" when it comes to recalling a handful of candy from your officemate's desk or the latte you sipped on your way to a meeting. Keeping a food journal where you write down every morsel or drop of food and drink that you ingest makes you more aware and more accountable of your choices. At the end of each day, take a moment to review your log. This allows you to plan and make better choices on an ongoing basis based on what works and doesn't for you.

2. Carry around a water bottle. You might lose track of how many glasses of water you've had throughout the day, leaving you unaware of whether you've met your hydration goals (The Best Life recommends six 8-ounce glasses). Instead, use a water bottle. When you know  how much water the bottle holds, it's much easier to keep an accurate tally. For each time you fill the bottle, you'll know how much of a dent you've put in your daily water goal. And if you see water left at the end of the day, you'll know you fell short and need to step it up.

3. Use the scale or your clothes as a gauge. Weighing yourself on a regular basis (weekly or bi-weekly) allows you to catch weight increases and stop the habits that are causing them right away. You may want to avoid the scale at the beginning of a weight-loss program when your weight will likely fluctuate, or if the scale tends to make you a little crazy (you're not alone!). In these cases, you can simply use a pair of pants that fit you just right—if they start to get snug, you'll know something needs to change. Or, if they're looser and you're working to lose weight, you'll know to keep doing what you’re doing!

4. Schedule weekly meetings with yourself. Just like offices have planning and strategy meetings to ensure that they're pushing forward to reach goals, you should have weekly check-ins with yourself to make sure you're consistently working towards your goals and setting new ones as you reach old ones. At these meetings, keep an ongoing list of your short-term goals, strategies to achieve them, and how close you are to reaching them. In addition, gauge your progress towards long-term goals and adjust your short-term goals accordingly (for example, if a long-term goal is to run a 5K, but your short-term goal of hitting the treadmill at the gym has taken a back burner, it's time to re-visit strategies to get back on the treadmill).  

Just Say No!

It's not always easy to say no, but when it comes to your health and weight-loss efforts, it's an absolute must. And it goes beyond simply turning down tempting foods—it's also about not overextending yourself. After all, when you say yes to too many things, you leave little time for taking care of yourself. Learning how to say no when something interferes or conflicts with your healthy intentions will help you reach your goals quicker. Not sure if you can do it? Check out the scenarios below and learn how to say no politely and effectively.

Scenario one: Co-workers want you to go to Happy Hour after work, but you were planning on hitting the gym.
How to say no: Give an honest but brief explanation of why you can't make it. Be sure that you're clear that you will not be joining them, but if you genuinely have an interest in participating in the future, say so. Tell your co-workers, "That sounds like a lot of fun, but I have a date with my trainer. Let me know in advance of the next Happy Hour and I'll see if I can make it." If you're not able to attend after-work events, suggest getting together over lunch. And if you're just not interested, a simple 'no thanks' should cut it.

Scenario two: Your kids are begging for sugary cereal and candy at the grocery store.
How to say no: Explain why they can't have these things—tell them that whole-grain cereals will give them energy to play all morning while sugary treats will leave them feeling tired and cranky. Then move on. Taking your kids to the grocery store can be a great opportunity to teach them about healthy eating.

Scenario three: You and a few girlfriends are at the movies and they suggest sharing buttered popcorn, soda and chocolate.
How to say no: Once again, a quick "no thank you" should do the trick. While you may be tempted to say yes to fit in with the rest of the group, remember that it's dark in the theater and no one will be paying attention to who ate what. If your pals push you, just be consistent with the "no thank you's" and remind yourself that once that movie starts, the whole issue will be completely forgotten.

Scenario four: Your partner wants you to hang out at home and watch TV on Saturday morning, but you know if you do, you'll likely end up skipping your workout.
How to say no: Be completely upfront about why your workouts are important to you. Tell your partner, "I'm going to head out for a walk now because when I walk, I feel better about myself and am in a better mood for the rest of the day. We can watch TV when I get back."

Your Road Map to Success

It's that time of year—most of us are setting new health and weight loss goals for ourselves. No matter what your intentions are, the one thing we know well is that there's more to reaching your goals than simply setting them (though that's certainly a great start).

To achieve all your goals this year, you'll need a plan, and we'd like to help you create a road map to success. Think about it: You wouldn't head into a meeting or presentation without doing a little preparation first. Well, the same goes for eating well and exercising regularly—if you want to be successful, you must  prepare. Whenever we give a presentation or speech, we use this simple five-step plan to get ready. We've done some translating here, so you can use it for eating well, working out or whatever your goal is. Here's to making 2010 your best year yet!

1. Know your audience.
Health equivalent: You are your audience, so determine what your weight and health goals are and set a time for how long you have to achieve them. Write them down; this simple act makes you more accountable, and it serves as a powerful reminder of your goals.

2. Work backwards: What will you need to give your audience to meet their needs/wants?
Health equivalent: Think about what smaller actions will be necessary in order for you to meet your larger goals. For example, if your ultimate aim is to dine out less, then regular grocery shopping trips, preparing your lunch the night before work and planning out weekly meals are smaller steps that will help you get there.

3. Make an outline of the major points you will need to address.
Health equivalent: Create an exercise calendar that allows you to fit in exercise even when you're busy with work and social activities. Make a note of the healthy meals and snacks you'll make for each day of the week, and then create a shopping list so you'll have the food you need put these meals and snacks together.
 
4. Practice your presentation.
Health equivalent: Now that you have a road map, put it to use. Practice fitting in a walk at lunchtime, packing a lunch, bringing an afternoon snack, grocery shopping on the weekend, etc. It might feel a little strange or different from what you're used to at first, but the more you do it, the more normal it becomes. Eventually, it will  even feel like a natural part of your everyday life. 

5. Adjust your presentation based on what worked/didn’t work when you practiced.
Health equivalent: Adjust your exercise plan, grocery shopping, and meal/snack preparation to work smoothly with your schedule. For instance, if you planned to cook dinner at home every night of the week to cut back on dining out, but you frequently travel for work, you'll need to make some changes. You could plan ahead and find healthier restaurants for when you're on the road and you can also keep your kitchen stocked with healthful food so you can cook when you are home.

The Secret to Making It Stick

Making healthful choices isn't always comfortable. For instance, some days might prefer to go home and sit on the couch than hit the gym or you may not feel like telling your friends why you're having coffee with skim milk instead of the whipped cream-topped, icy mocha concoction they're all sipping on. Situations like these can feel downright uncomfortable.

But not as uncomfortable as falling short of your weight and health goals feels. So, the next time you're tempted to give in to those feelings of discomfort, remind yourself that they're temporary. And remember that the fantastic feeling of seeing the needle on the scale drop, walking a little farther than you had before or finding out your cholesterol or blood pressure has dropped is long-lived. 

A great piece of advice I often give my clients: Think of a few positive changes that will result from sticking with your healthy eating and exercise plan. For some people, it's finally getting to wear fashionable jeans; for others it's being able to tell their family that they lowered their cholesterol. Write down these motivating factors and review them when you're feeling uncomfortable—they might not make the situation any more comfortable, but they can help remind you why sticking out the temporary discomfort is worth it.

For more motivation help, check out TheBestLife.com.

Michelle's Marathon Training Update: Making My Decision

I finished the 15-mile run I'd scheduled for this past week, and although it was pretty challenging, I was ready to go through with my plans to run the marathon on October 25th. That is, until I was still feeling sore four days later. Maybe sore isn't the right word—I actually have terrible pain in my heels and the balls of my feet that make it hard to even walk.

Instead of ignoring it, I spoke to my physical therapist, who said that the neuromas (cysts on the end of the nerves between the bones in the feet) were acting up, and I was experiencing pain from plantar fasciitis (irritation of the tissues on the bottom of the foot). Though neither is very serious, the remedy for both is rest! He suggested that I  postpone the race. I was sad, but I think in the back of my mind I've known that this might be the case. I spoke to my husband who has been a big support system for me in this journey, and he agreed that although I could probably do the race, he was concerned about how much my illness from this past summer had taken me out of race form. He left it up to me to decide what to do and said he would support me no matter what. 

So I've made my final decision: I won't run this race, but I'll  continue to train and choose a race in the spring of next year. After all, the original goal of running this race was to provide motivation to get up and exercise after having a baby. I've accomplished this goal even though I've faced a number of challenges along the way, including an illness, a baby's changing needs, a hectic work schedule and a lot of traveling. I'm very proud of myself and don't feel that I've failed in anyway. I am only moving the end goal farther out and reestablishing immediate goals. 

Now, my next goal is to take a break from running to give my feet a chance to recover. I'll use this time to get in some good strength training and I'll keep up my cardio by using a stationary bike. Without the articles, community board and Bob's advice (through articles, videos and podcasts posted on TheBestLife.com), I would have been devastated to postpone the race, but now I am proud of how far I have come, and am ready for the next challenge! 

Michelle's Marathon Training Update: Dealing with Self-Doubt

Have you ever gotten to a certain point in your quest to achieve a goal when start to doubt yourself? Well, that's where I am right now. I'm starting to wonder about the safety of running this marathon, which is just five weeks away. I've been training as much as possible, but I still feel that I'm struggling a bit to get myself back to where I was in June—before I started feeling sick. 

This last week, I've been able to do a few small runs (about four miles each); they felt OK, but I was definitely happy when they were over. The problem is that at this point, four miles should be a vacation from the grueling runs that I should be doing. I'm going to try a 15-mile run this week—it should really help me make my final decision. It's kind of embarrassing, and I feel as though I am quitting, but in a sense, I don't know how smart it is to push through a 26.2-mile run just to prove to myself that I can do it. I know that I can get through the race, but I'm not sure of the damage that I will be doing to myself.

I made this goal for myself months ago as I was trying to get back into shape after having my son Reid (now 8 1/2 months). Along the way, I've set a lot of mini goals to help me get through the weeks, days or even hours. I have accomplished a lot and so if I have to push the end goal of running a marathon out a bit, then I realize I didn't fail because I've already accomplished so much, and I will get to the marathon someday. 

Listen to me—I sound like I've already thrown in the towel. Well not yet! The 15-mile run will help me determine what my final decision will be, and until then I'll be hanging out on the Best Life community boards (one of the biggest draws of belonging to the Best Life program) for motivation! The support and encouragement I've received there has been a huge part of my success.

Michelle's Marathon Training Update: The Power of a Vacation

The last few months have been a bit hectic, with my marathon training being derailed, not feeling well and trying to keep up with my almost-eight-month-old son Reid. I was really looking forward to the trip we had planned to Oregon to visit family and friends. But I was also a little nervous because some of my friends like to talk about diets and weight loss with me. Unfortunately, because I've gone a little off track, I was worried that my "expertise" would be challenged and I'd spend the majority of my time defending myself, or worse, listening to how crash diets, like "no carbs," are the best way to lose weight.

Much to my delight, conversation about my diet and exercise routine has been minimal, and I've been able to enjoy the company as well as do my best to keep on track with my new Best Life plans. A few weeks ago after my doctor suggested that I might be suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I let go of a strict exercise routine and established a new goal of simply going on a daily walk or just moving as much as possible.

While on vacation, I've been able to enjoy walks with my sister-in-law, a hike with my husband and son, and a fun game of home-run derby with my husband's cousins. I even got to go on a couple two-mile runs. I'll admit, they were a bit rough—my legs felt very heavy, and my joints and head were hurting—so I walked when I needed to. How well I ran wasn't that important to me—I was just happy that I got back into the feel of running.

Not only have I exceeded my new exercise goals for myself since I've been away, but I've also been able to go to the many family gatherings and enjoy the food without throwing my healthy-eating plans out the window. Most of the get-togethers have been potlucks and my husband and I have brought fresh fruit salad, a watermelon and sparkling water with sliced limes and lemons. Of course, my husband and I have been enjoying these dishes, but we've also noticed that other family members are enjoying them as well.

Overall this vacation has been just what I needed: I've been able to relax but still stick to my goals. After a refreshing and reinvigorating 10 days away, I'm ready to head home and keep those good vacation vibes going. 

Michelle's Marathon Training Update: Goal-Getting

I was finally able to get in my big run while I was on vacation. I had changing my plans a number of times to accommodate visiting family and friends, and hadn't had a chance to get it in. But I made a promise to myself before bed one night and the next morning, I did it! I let everyone know what my plan was so that they could all help take care of Reid while I was gone. After I woke up and fed the baby, my parents took him to play, and I was off. 

I put my headphones on and listened to some of the great music that Best Life members suggested in an article on the site, and I was able to relax and enjoy the run. I was happy, energized and ready for whatever the rest of the day threw at me because I had set a goal and accomplished it! What a great feeling!

For more advice on getting in shape and staying motivated, check out TheBestLife.com.

Finding out What Works for You

Last weekend I went out to breakfast with a friend, and we ordered a very special treat—two nonfat lattes and an almond croissant to share. One thing I love about The Best Life program is that you can count a week as successful as long as you've met your daily goals six out of seven days. I had a balanced Best Life breakfast every other morning that week, so my croissant treat would not stop me from meeting my weekly goals. 

However, it did stop me from thoroughly enjoying my Saturday!  Don't get me wrong, the croissant tasted great—but it really left me hanging about two hours later. As my pal and I walked around Central Park, I felt grouchy and tired. "But I just ate," I thought to myself. How could I be hungry again and ready for a nap? I knew the answer to my question—my breakfast provided me with little more than fat and sugar! Yes, I did squeeze in some calcium and protein  with my nonfat latte, but it just didn't make up for the fact that my breakfast was void of the fiber, protein, and healthy fats it normally contains. 

I didn't feel guilty at all for enjoying my special treat, but I realized that it didn't really feel like such a treat anymore. This experience taught me that I need a Best Life breakfast every day—it's my anchor. And while I can splurge on a slice of pizza for lunch or a beer with dinner once in a while and feel fine, I've decided to stick with a healthy, balanced breakfast.

It takes time and practice to find what works best for you in terms of food preferences, your schedule and other factors, but the process moves you that much closer to meeting and maintaining your weight and health goals. It's definitely worth the trip.